I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
