Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
