I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
