...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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