he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
