it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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