my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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