This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize