I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
