So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
