google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
