Your mouth is God's brothel.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize