I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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