You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
