I'm gonna have a badass scar
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
