It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
