We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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