respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
