well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
