Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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