No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
please come you make the beer taste better
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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