Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
