It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
