So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
