I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize