I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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