$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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