Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
