Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
