Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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