Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
