You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
