What did we do last night that was yellow?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
