If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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