what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
