On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hippo gnu deer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
