My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize