Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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