I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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