I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
