he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
