dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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