I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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