No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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