Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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