Soap is not a condiment
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
