I want to walk on stilts...naked
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
