The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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