Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i think im in europe. pls send help
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
