tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
