Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Still dying that you shit outside
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
