I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
