who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
