The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
