I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
