I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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