I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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