i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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