Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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